Are there periods in your life where you constantly ruminate about what someone did or said? It can be easy to “become stuck” in thinking about this person for hours and even days, whether while driving, washing dishes, or even having a conversation with someone else. The following provides some opportunities from breaking away from this toxic cycle of rewinding, replaying, and re-examining various people and interactive experiences:
- Stop playing the blame game, including blaming yourself. This experience is not productive and can have a domino effect. Usually, the misunderstanding is a result of shared responsibility.
- Release yourself from trying to figure out what others are thinking and doing because chances are extremely high that you are wrong and wasting your energy and time.
- Remember, anger wrinkles the mind. Repeat that. Move on.
- Remind yourself that your thoughts are not facts and that you don’t have to believe unhelpful thoughts. While our emotions are often physical and felt in our bodies (e.g., stomachaches), it doesn’t mean there is a true physical problem. Your feelings are real, but ask yourself if they are the 110% reality.
- Ask yourself how you can grow from this experience and how various interactions serve as learning opportunities for personal growth.
- Give yourself 90 seconds each day for as long as you need to for experiencing anger, sadness, and pain. Once the timer goes off, put your thoughts down and move onto something more productive.
- Imagine yourself sending kindness, peace, and love to the people who have hurt you in order to obtain a sense of freedom.
- Forgive for you.