Emotions (driven by bodily reactions) and feelings (driven by thoughts) represent responses to situations and events. For example, you are walking to your car in the dark. You see a shadow and chills run down your spine (bodily reaction), and you feel scared (feeling transformed into words). A chain reaction may happen, as this person believes he/she is about to be attacked. Behaviors result from the interactions between both emotions and feelings. Below represent some strategies for freeing yourself from the emotional quicksand.

1. It is not always about what you feel, but what you do. Our brain sends the message to avoid and escape; yet that does not mean you have to listen to and/or respond.

2. While our feelings serve as a compass and protect us from danger/threats, they can also exaggerate and overreact. Consider giving your feelings space, but not your entire house. In other words, do not ignore or stuff them down, yet remind yourself that you ultimately get to decide how much space your feelings take up. Do you give them your entire house or just a closet?

3. Reframe anxiety as an exciting challenge; faster heart rates may signal a sense of anxiety, but it could also serve as excitement. Consider re-appraising your anxiety. For example, graduating from college, getting married, and having a baby may bring feelings of anxiety-as-excitement.

4. When you first feel an emotion bubbling up, tackle it. The earlier you reappraise and evaluate the situation, the less opportunity your brain has to be hijacked. When we attempt to suppress, ignore, avoid, or escape our emotions, they often come back more powerful and with a stronger vengeance. Acknowledge the thought/feeling in order to release it and in order for your mind to reduce the need to bring it back to your attention.

5. Acknowledge who has the power: you or your fears? Often, it is not the event itself but how the individual person interprets and perceives the event or situation. For example, a wreck may lead someone to avoid driving while another person may interpret it as gratitude and a blessing to educate others on the safety of driving.

6. Remove the personalization; someone may not respond to a phone call or text message. Instead of believing you are not important or worthy, give yourself alternatives. For example, this person may not be feeling well, this person may be slammed at work, or his/her phone may be broken. If thinking does not work, visualize it. For example, picture them in bed with a migraine headache or behind a desk with papers piled high. Essentially, give your brain another story to hear/play.

7. View your intrusive and catastrophic thoughts and overwhelmingly emotions as children who may not have the tools or skills to process and cope. Talk to your feelings, such as “Go ahead and throw your tantrum. Dump as much as you need right now,” or  “I will not be bullied by this teenager raging inside of me.”

8. Shrink your anxiety or fear by writing it down, speaking it aloud, or dancing it out. Mental space is created as you express and show your emotions.

9. Reduce your tendency to immediately react by taking a deep breath, counting to 10, or tensing and releasing your muscles. Remind yourself that these feelings and emotions are only temporary visitors.

10. Be compassionate and offer forgiveness to yourself when strong or intense emotions are presented; as you forgive, you detach from strong feelings of jealousy, resentment, and anger. Forgiveness provides space for love—which typically counteracts any overwhelmingly negative emotion. It is hard to be stuck in quicksand when you have a spirit of forgiveness and love.