C.S. Lewis once said, “Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may

lose.” The world has a tendency to throw curve balls and it may feel like the

thunderstorms never cease. While external events and activities can provide a sense

of happiness and peace, enduring happiness is dependent upon your relationship

with yourself. This happiness may be buried under layers of insecurity, self-hate,

fear, and shame. In order to uncover your true potential and achieve happiness,

consider making these small changes:

1. Stay present: Live in the moment mindfully. This will allow you to stay

connected with your authentic self and keep your mind from wandering to

“what if “ statements and unrealistic fantasies. Take deep breaths focus on

the task or activity at hand rather than multitasking.

2. Let go: Let go of your perfectionistic behaviors. Embrace your flaws and

imperfections, and recognize that there is no such thing as perfect. The flaws

are part of you and your story. Consider asking the question, do you think

rocks are ugly because of their dents and chips, or trees because of visible

scars and damages? Of course not, so give yourself the same compassion and

appreciate your own natural beauty.

3. Focus on Gratitude: Be intentional about seeking joy and being grateful for

your life. When you wake up or when you go to bed, take note of one positive

characteristic or trait. Consider one positive of the day and what you are

thankful for in life. Spread the joy and love to others, by giving a warm smile

or buying a cup of coffee.

4. Form a positive identity: Too often, individuals identify with negative

issues or perceived negative parts of themselves, such as I am an addict or I

am a depressed person. Try to remove the labels that add more hurt, pain,

and/or shame. Remember that you are much more than a label.

5. Embrace your feelings: Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotion

has arisen. Don’t label your feelings as good or bad, or attempt to deny or

repress the more difficult feelings. By acknowledging your feelings, you are

actually one step closer to feeling that internal happiness. Tears are healthy

and such a powerful release.

6. Be compassionate. Treat yourself with kindness. Love yourself and forgive

yourself of past decisions or choices that you feel you did something wrong.

Allow the heart and mind to be set free, and remember that who you are

today is not who you were then.

7. Don’t Believe Everything: Remember, your thoughts do not have to define

you. YOU are in charge of your thoughts and have the power to ignore and/or

replace them with thoughts that empower and fill you up.